


you had to be the one to let me down, to color me blue

by ohjenniekim



Category: BLACKPINK (Band)
Genre: Angst, F/F, based on rosé's gone, yg where is rosé solo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-13 18:08:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29157903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohjenniekim/pseuds/ohjenniekim
Summary: Chaeyoung never thought that there would be a point in her life where she doesn’t love Jennie.
Relationships: Jennie Kim/Park Chaeyoung | Rosé
Comments: 5
Kudos: 93





	you had to be the one to let me down, to color me blue

Chaeyoung saw Jennie a month after their break up. Despite knowing that the coffee shop was Jennie’s favourite, she still wasn’t expecting Jennie to actually be there, all smiles and laughter as she sipped on her cappuccino.

The first thing Chaeyoung noticed was that it hurt. Seeing Jennie hurt. Seeing Jennie be _okay_ when Chaeyoung felt like drowning every time she opened her eyes hurt. Did Chaeyoung mean that little to her that Jennie can move on so easily?

The second thing Chaeyoung noticed was that Jennie wasn’t alone. There was another brunette sitting next to her, and Chaeyoung hated how close the nameless brunette was to Jennie. Chaeyoung knew she had no rights to be jealous, Jennie wasn’t hers anymore. But it didn’t stop the anger that was starting to spread in her chest. Was Chaeyoung that easy to forget that Jennie managed to find her replacement so soon?

And when Jennie stood up to leave, but not before planting a kiss on the brunette’s cheek, Chaeyoung felt stupid for holding on to the love she had for Jennie when Jennie clearly didn’t love her anymore.

_You broke my heart just for fun_

_Took my love and just left me numb_

-

Jisoo told Chaeyoung that she was a masochist and she agreed. She really was. Because why would she be getting ready to go to Jennie’s birthday party when they had broken up?

 _“I promised her I’ll always be there during her birthdays,”_ Chaeyoung reasoned. Jisoo thought it was stupid. _“It's fine to break a promise when things change, Rosie,”_ she argued.

But Chaeyoung wasn’t going to break something she could keep. Jennie broke her heart but that didn’t mean that Chaeyoung should break her promises.

So Chaeyoung walked up next to Jisoo to Jennie’s apartment where Jennie was celebrating her birthday, a neatly wrapped black box in her trembling hand.

“It’s not too late to leave, you know.”

Chaeyoung looked at Jisoo, giving her a reassuring smile despite the throbbing in her chest and pressed the doorbell. “I’ll just give this to her and leave,” she replied, gesturing towards the gift she was holding.

It was a bracelet that Chaeyoung got a few months ago when they were still together. She figured it would be a waste if she let it sit in her drawer when it could be given to its rightful owner instead. The bracelet was silver and it had two charms—a bear and an _‘R’_ that Chaeyoung detached just before she wrapped the box.

“You’re too nice, Rosie,” Jisoo chuckled. “If a girl broke my heart like she did to you, I would never want to see her again.”

“Yeah, well,” Chaeyoung pursed her lips. “She was the love of my life once upon a time. It’s still hard to let that go.”

They were interrupted by the door opening. Chaeyoung expected to see Jennie. She expected to see Jennie’s smile dropping as soon as she saw who was standing by her door. But it wasn’t Jennie, instead it was that brunette from the coffee shop and Chaeyoung felt the familiar ache in her chest.

“Hi!” The brunette smiled. Chaeyoung wondered if that was the smile that made Jennie fall in love with her. “I’m Lisa!”

“Hey," Jisoo was the first to speak. “I’m Jisoo.”

The brunette—Lisa—turned to Chaeyoung expectantly, the smile still on her face. And Chaeyoung really tried, but she couldn’t return her smile. “I’m Rosie,” she said, her tone not as enthusiastic as Jisoo’s but she didn’t care.

Chaeyoung saw the realization dawning on Lisa’s face but she didn’t have the time to react because not a second later Jennie came into view. “Babe, who is it?”

Chaeyoung knew, she _knew_ that Jennie had someone else, but that didn’t mean that her heart didn’t shatter all over again at hearing Jennie call someone else something that had always been directed for Chaeyoung.

Jennie’s eyes went wide when she saw her and Chaeyoung thought that she should’ve listened to Jisoo instead. “Oh, hey,” Jennie’s tone lacked the warmth it used to have whenever she talked to Chaeyoung. Chaeyoung smiled despite it all. “Come on in.”

Chaeyoung figured Jisoo sensed her discomfort because she immediately spoke up. “Actually, we’re just here to give you this,” she took the gift from Chaeyoung’s hand and handed it over to Jennie. “Happy birthday, Jendeuk.”

Jennie was still looking at Chaeyoung and Chaeyoung had to look away because she couldn’t find all the love and affection she used to see in them anymore.

Chaeyoung left without uttering a single word to Jennie despite having so many things to say to her.

_I can feel the pain, can you?_

-

Chaeyoung saw Jennie again a week later in the streets on her way home from work. She was with Lisa again, their hands intertwined this time. They were talking animatedly, Jennie hanging on to every word Lisa was saying. Chaeyoung noticed that Jennie was wearing Chaeyoung’s bracelet, but instead of the _‘R’_ that was collecting dust in Chaeyoung’s drawer, it had an _‘L’_ instead and for a second Chaeyoung wished she kept the bracelet instead—that way she could’ve kept a part of Jennie all to herself. 

But Jennie wasn’t hers anymore. Chaeyoung didn’t know why it was taking so long for her to accept it.

_How am I supposed to live without you?_

_-_

Once Chaeyoung was in the confines of her apartment, she broke down and cried because Jennie looked happy and she wondered why Jennie couldn’t be happy with her.

-

Chaeyoung decided to leave the city. Seeing Jennie’s face in everything was getting too much and all the places that she used to find comfort in now felt confining. 

But as Chaeyoung was putting the last of her things into an empty box, she found an old book that contained her sketches. 

Chaeyoung remembered how she used to bring this everywhere she goes, sketching everything she found interesting. Jennie happened to be in most of the pages and Chaeyoung hated how vividly she remembered every single moment behind each sketch.

There was a sketch of Jennie laughing. Jennie watching TV, Kuma and Hank curled up below her feet. Jennie cooking breakfast for two. Jennie smiling at Chaeyoung with that smile that she used to reserve for her but was now reserved for someone else. Jennie cuddled up against Chaeyoung. Jennie still soundly asleep, the morning hues illuminating her features perfectly. Jennie driving with one hand, the other one placed on Chaeyoung’s thigh. Jennie sitting on their usual spot at the park, a book in hand. 

There was one page left and Chaeyoung remembered that she was about to draw something that day but Jennie left instead.

Chaeyoung didn’t pack the sketchbook with her, instead she left it behind, along with the memories of Jennie she had in the place she used to call home.

Chaeyoung left her now empty apartment with a smile. She didn't know how to unlove Jennie, but it was a start.

-

Chaeyoung returned a few years later with the invitation to Jennie’s wedding in hand. She used to imagine that she would be the one Jennie would walk down the aisle to. Chaeyoung didn’t mind anymore that it didn’t come true.

_All my love is gone_


End file.
